


Darcy's Musketeer

by Dreamin_doin



Series: Leaving the Shadow of the Bat [2]
Category: DC Extended Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Darcy and Steve have gone on dates but aren't dating, Darcy dog sits, Darcy is Bruce Wayne's Sister, Gen, dlaf2018, here goes nothing, my first attempt at crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 16:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14168580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamin_doin/pseuds/Dreamin_doin
Summary: Darcy dog sits Ace the Bat-Hound and Lucky the Pizza Dog. She gets more than she bargained for.





	Darcy's Musketeer

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Darcy Lewis April Fool's Crack Challenge.  
> Takes place after but in the same AU as my story "Being Darcy Wayne". You don't have to read one to get the other; the two most important facts are that Darcy is Bruce Wayne's sister, and she's currently in New York to help with Stark Industries/Wayne Enterprises business relationship.

“Yes Bruce, Ace is _fine_.” Darcy Wayne enters her apartment in Stark Tower, her phone pressed to her ear, with a leash in one of her hands trailing down to the collar of a young, large, black great dane. “No, its alright. I know you wanted to take him adventuring with you but I don’t think bifrost travel would be great for Ace either. I’m taking care of Lucky for Clint too so they’ll be fine. Tell everyone I say hi…yes I mean Steve in particular. Love you too. Bye!”

As she and Ace walk further into the apartment the sound of claws click-clacking across her floor come towards them showing a one-eyed golden retriever with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

“Ace this is Lucky! Lucky this is Ace! I’m sure you guys are gonna get along fine.”

Most of Darcy’s night passes by uneventfully. She and the dogs watch some TV, eat some take out, and cuddle. When its time for bed, both dogs make use of the extra space on Darcy’s king mattress making her giggle. Shortly after Darcy goes to sleep however, Lucky gets up and paws at the door. FRIDAY, following protocol Clint sets up lets the dog out of Darcy’s apartment with Ace following curiously.

The great dane paws after the other dog to the elevator, and down into the lobby. The night guard—used to seeing Lucky take himself out when Clint is too hurt to do so—nods to the canines, warning them to be careful outside. He laughs when both dogs give him affirming whoofs. Once outside Lucky sets off purposefully. Used to long nights of following Batman around Ace settles in next to Lucky, looking for the sorts of thing Bruce trained him to.

When a scream from an alley pierces the air, both dogs run towards the sounds barking ferociously. Lucky sets himself next to the woman who was being mugged while Ace chases the man down the alley and the next street. When he returns to where he left his new friend, the lady is tentatively giving out pets, which Ace waits patiently for. After a while they start to nudge her out of the alley and let her lead them to her home. Once she’s inside safely the duo sets off again.

Lucky shows him where the best place to beg for pizza scraps is, while Ace shows Lucky the best way to get paramedics to follow them to where they had found an unconscious body.

Just before the sun is about to rise, and the two dogs are on their way back home, they come across another dog barking and chasing something from an alley out into the street. Seeing that the something is actually a little kitten, hissing something fierce, fur all puffed up, tail up and set for a fight the two dogs intervene both forcing the other dog away from the kitten. After the other dog’s been scared away Lucky backs away from the cat warily, who is still hissing and swiping in their direction with overly large paws. Ace whoofs at him like he should know better before making his way over to the cat, and nosing at it. Knocked off balance, the kitten’s anger deflates somewhat and Ace picks him up gently in his mouth and the now trio makes it back to the Tower unharmed.

When they get back though, it’s not to a caretaker who is still sound asleep but an irate Darcy.

“Lucky! Why are you leaving without waking me up? I know Clint doesn’t let you do that! And Ace! I thought Bruce had trained you better? Your humans leave you alone for a night and this is what you get up to? What is that in your mouth?!” Ace deposits the kitten down at Darcy’s feet, wagging his tail ever so gently. Still scolding both dogs, Darcy kneels down to look at the kitten. His face is half orange and half black with two different colored eyes, and his little body is mostly black with some orange patches. He mews pathetically at Darcy, wet from Ace’s mouth and she moves to get him wrapped in a dish towel before she continues chastising the dogs. She grabs the little chip from Ace’s collar that is always recording and watches the night from her furry friend’s point of view. As she sets out their breakfast and sets about finding some appropriate food for her new pet she can’t help but come to one conclusion.

“For fuck’s sake…can anyone in my life be normal?”

~~~

Darcy decides, after talking to Pepper and ignoring Tony, to keep the kitten. She names him d’Artagnan, fitting as he rounded out the musketeers that were Lucky and Ace. Over the next few months, d’Artagnan grew considerably—convincing Darcy that either he had some Maine coon in him or Erskine’s serum. She spent much of her time chasing her cat around the tower, as he found his way into the hearts of all the superheroes who lived in, or stopped by, the tower. His favorite place to nap was Steve’s shield, and the man had told FRIDAY to allow the cat access anytime he pleased. And if that meant that Darcy soon followed her cat, giving her an easy excuse to come visit and for Steve to see her, well…he had no problem with that.

Darcy swore that her cat was trying to set her up with Steve. He was _always_ at Steve’s. She had even brought up Steve getting his own pet, thinking maybe Steve was taking her cat for snuggles—not that she’d blame him, d’Artagnan was very cuddly. But Steve had waved her off saying he didn’t have time to take care of a pet the way one would deserve.

Things took a turn to the bizarre though when Darcy was in a closet looking for some wrapping paper for a present for Jane. The door, which had been wide open, suddenly slammed closed. She spent the next ten minutes banging on the door. Steve happens to be the one who found her, and opened the door. Rather than going in and risking the door closing on him too, he pulled Darcy out and close to him. D’Artagnan winds around their ankles, meowing innocently the whole time.

“I swear Tasha teaches him secret spy tricks,” Darcy says, glaring poison at her traitor cat.

“Nah. Cats already know how to do that kind of stuff. She just enhances and encourages it. Still, can’t say I minded being your white knight.”

“Steve Rogers, you know you only have to be you around me. I don’t need you to be in constant superhero mode.”

“I know,” Steve smiles down goofily at her, “I still like to help you though. Save you in little mundane ways. You excited for our date tonight?”

“Not yet…but I will be,” Darcy says, giving him a small kiss on the bottom of his mouth. Then she drops down to scoop up her cat before moving away calling a quick good-bye to Steve.

As she gets in the elevator, Darcy looks down at d’Artagnan sternly. “As for you sir, I am doing well enough on my own with Steve. If its going to happen we will get there. We don’t need any help from a feline musketeer. Trap me in a closet again, and I will make sure all your toys disappear.”

Her cat waits a beat and then launches into his own tirade of mews and meows, seemingly scolding Darcy on how long it was taking her to move on to a more formal step with Steve. She rolls her eyes as she gets off the elevator, needing to get ready for her date.

~~~

The next time Darcy dog sits for Clint and Bruce, d’Artagnan bullies his way into their nighttime adventures—despite Darcy’s best efforts to prevent them from happening at all. Though, Darcy had to admit, as she watched the footage from that night that all three animals were able to hold their own. Still she’d prefer for them to be safe at home being cuddled; the same way she’d prefer her human heroes would stay at home content to be cuddled. Sitting in the sofa now, with the two dogs curled around her feet and next to her hip, with her cat puddled in her lap, Darcy supposed that she would take what she could get.


End file.
